Always Think What You Say

A young boy went fishing with his grandfather. The grandfather took a dip of chew. "Grandpa, can I have a dip of chew?" "Well, boy, can your pen*s touch your a$$hole?" "No, Grandpa." "Well then, I guess you're not yet a man, so you can't." Later Grandpa opened a beer. "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" "Well, boy, can your pen*s touch your a$$hole?" "No, Grandpa." "Well then, I guess you're not yet a man, so you can't." On the way home, they stopped for gas. Grandpa felt a little guilty and bought the boy a lottery ticket. He scratched it and won a million dollars! His excited Grandpa asked, "Since I bought you the ticket, you are going to split it with me, right?" The boy replied, "Grandpa, can your pen*s touch your a$$hole?" Grandpa smiled and said, "Sure it can!" The grandson snapped back, "Good, because then you can go screw yourself!"