The quotes I like

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
--Woody Allen

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
--Lynn Lavner

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
--Sharon Stone

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
--Tiger Woods

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
--Jack Nickolson

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
--Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
--Robert De Niro

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
--Robin Williams